Welcome To The Jungle
In May 2023, my wife Donna and I were on a walk when I said, “I think I’m going to start that book people tell me I should write.” I had no outline or plan and didn’t know if I’d stop after a week or end up with 50,000 words.
Why did I start writing?
As anyone who even decently knows me will attest, I’ve been passionate about how teenagers are raised in our society for almost twenty years. As this study and many others like it conclude, our teenagers increasingly become young adults unhappy at a rate that is “pretty striking, pretty disturbing.”
While data and studies matter, conversations with teenagers and young adults over the last ten to fifteen years most motivated me to write this book.
“Teenagers are increasingly stressed out and anxious and view their futures with such fear and despair that many must be medicated to get through their day. Not surprisingly, these teenagers often become timid and unhappy young adults struggling to find the fulfillment and financial success they were promised. And many enter the real world with crushing debt that acts as a two-ton boat anchor on their hopes and dreams.”
Teenagers are relentlessly poked, prodded, cajoled, and implored to follow a formulaic path that represents the ONLY way to attain a coveted master key. This key will enable them to exclusively unlock doors that are forever closed to those without it.
The master key? A college degree.
And, best of all, their future success and happiness are in their control. The more they invest and excel on this path, the bigger and better the doors they will open. The higher the grades they earn, the more awards they win, the more prestigious the college they graduate from, the more impressive the company they land their first job at…the more successful they get to be.
Welcome to the jungle.
“Compliance in the present will result in happiness in the future. With that directive in mind and lacking a solid case to dissuade the jury, [teenagers] pour their time and energy into checking boxes, hanging out with friends, and desperately seeking distractions. And that leaves no time, much less guidance, to develop one core and critically important capability. They exit the path and enter the real world with little to no ability to self-direct their happiness and fulfillment from the inside out. And for most of them, that dormant volcano eventually erupts.”
If teenagers question what they’re being told, fear ensures conformity based on the illusion of choice.
“No one is making you go all in here! You can choose not to buy in and go into a trade, the military, or work in the service industry. That's all perfectly acceptable!”
But in a social media-driven world where they constantly compare themselves to others, teenagers (and their parents) can’t help but take the bait. Everyone else is doing it so we will too.
“We’re gonna buy in, suck it up and do what’s necessary to ensure you maximize your potential. No matter how much is spent or borrowed. All of this is for your own good.”
Welcome to the jungle.
If you’re the parent who observes this madness and says, “Yep, this is ridiculous, and I’m ready to take a different approach with my teen (or tween)…”
If you’re the parent who looks ahead and says, “This maniacal obsession with achievement and credentials is why so many young adults end up struggling…”
…Welcome to Pathbreaker Parenting
“This book unleashes you from an obsolete and irrelevant role. Your task-mastering days will soon be a thing of the past as you start new conversations that foster a shift in parental roles, empowering you to become an enabler while allowing your teen the autonomy to navigate as a self-directed individual.”