PATHBREAKER PARENTING
New conversations to engage your teen and empower self-directed thriving
A new book now available for purchase!
The Path
Linear. Formulaic. Unnecessary.
Teenagers today are indoctrinated into a “path” they’re told is the key to future success and happiness. If you want the good life, you must conform and achieve.
Relentlessly prodded and cajoled, they chase grades, strive for excellence, and stress over the all-important question: What will you “be” as an adult?
“[Teenagers] exit the path and enter the real world with little to no ability to self-direct their happiness and fulfillment from the inside out. And for most of them, that dormant volcano eventually erupts.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
“The most educated (and in debt) generation in history is pouring their heart, mind, mental wellness, and a lot of money into a formulaic path that, for many, does not work out as expected.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
Pathbreakers
My wife and I raised two daughters, Brooke (left, now 24) and Lauren (now 26).
According to today’s achievement culture, they were unremarkable teens on their way to Loserville, population them. Less-than-stellar GPAs, no awards or recognition, and one semester of college combined.
Now young adults, here is their answer to, “What does thriving mean to you?”
“At twenty-two, when these young women were supposed to have demonstrated proof of academic excellence, perseverance, and obedience by holding a piece of paper that made her eligible for financial success and happiness, neither displayed the slightest bit of conformity. And it was all by design.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
“[The] combination of freedom and no pressure on grades, credentials, or what they would “be” created a relaxed atmosphere of mutual respect. Our daughters were freed up from feeling like they had to fake their way through each day, which enabled them to be kids, have fun, and gradually discover who they were.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
Lauren’s Journey: From Surviving To Thriving
At fourteen, Lauren was fairly certain she didn’t need to attend college. At sixteen, she was certain (see below).
She didn’t know what she would “be” and wasn’t worried about it, but she knew what she would try first after high school (instead of college). And then, life happened.
A cancer diagnosis and six months of chemotherapy took her to the brink emotionally, physically, and mentally. After beating it, she grew stronger, found her game, traveled the world, and built her dream lifestyle. No college degree required.
“I came across an e-book called Stop Stealing Dreams by Seth Godin that focused on one question. What Is School For? I sent [it to] Lauren, who was starting her junior year of high school. I expected her not to read it, but a few hours later, she came downstairs and said, 'I read what you sent, and it blew my mind. I’m now certain that I am not going to college.' Game on.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
“[To land her dream corporate job, Lauren] bypassed the online filtering system, presented a highly polished portfolio, nailed every interview, and left no doubt she was the best candidate. That is how you kick ass in today’s world, not by getting an outdated credential everyone else has, applying online, and hoping to be noticed.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
Brooke’s Journey: From Directionless To Self-Directed
Brooke meandered through high school. Lazy. Mediocre student. Low self-confidence. Directionless.
She tried college, hoping it would give her new direction and purpose. Unfortunately, she immediately regressed, dropped out after one semester, and moved back home.
Her parents were not worried. She just needed a push.
After languishing for another six months, an ultimatum delivered over dinner created the spark that led to a transformation.
“Path-following parents relentlessly insist their teens do and determine things, but most of it is “fake hustle” that means nothing in the long run. Being an adult is entirely different from being a kid. Once your child exits the teen years and enters independence, they will find happiness if they’re fully empowered and able to take ownership of what causes them to consistently go to bed feeling accomplished and wake up feeling excited about the day ahead.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
“In what would have been the first half of her junior year in college, Brooke was crushing it. Instead of attending classes, studying for tests, and experiencing the college scene, she was figuring herself out, building her candle business, enjoying dog ownership, and increasing her income. She reached financial independence at twenty and has remained so ever since.”
— From Pathbreaker Parenting
About The Book
If you’re the parent or primary caregiver of a child aged twelve (ish) to sixteen (ish), Pathbreaker Parenting extends an invitation to pause and assess.
Through a new understanding of the flaws in an obsolete education system, the damaging aftertaste of false expectations, and the “requirement lie” regarding college degrees, you will pop the pressure bubble enveloping your teen and pivot from taskmaster to mentor. Your teen will be newly empowered with the autonomy to navigate a highly dynamic and ever-changing world as a self-directed individual, which sets the stage to thrive across all life domains.
Click here to view the three options to purchase the book. You can register for my blog, visit the Pathbreaker Parenting Facebook page, or send me an Email (form below) to connect and discuss anything parenting-related.
The End Goal
Pathbreaking changes the conversations between you and your teen. You’re playing the long game.
The focus is on traits you observe in high-achieving young adults, not teenagers. Because those are the traits that matter once you’re independent.
You build those traits as a rock-solid foundation on which your teenager builds the floors of a burgeoning skyscraper.
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